Up way early again, because I'm having bladder control issues. That is the sanitized way to say I woke up peeing. M.S. So much fun.

For whatever reason I woke up feeling a bit perky, despite a bad night with not enough sleep. Well, I had enough sleep the night before, including some daytime naps, and I felt awful. So I guess quantity of sleep has nothing to do with it. I always thought it did.

The new life continues with way too much time being spent behind the wheel of my van, at least from the point of view of not having the life of a soccer mom. Yesterday I drove to the shuk in Sderot with D3, where she had a driving lesson and afterwards was catching a train to visit the boyfriend's parents. Came home to pick up S3 and drove to Netivot so he could pick up his jeans (and a pair belonging to TH) which we'd taken to a tailor - since they arrived fitting him in all aspects but at the waist. ??? I don't get that, we measure his waist with a tape measure - I know how, I used to make clothes - so wtf?

I also had to drive out to pick up D3 when she came home, and that was a day with relatively small amounts of driving. I used the joystick to drive into Netivot, I was really feeling weak and worn out, but when I went to pick up D3 for whatever reason the controls weren't working, so I had to drive with the steering wheel and pedals. It worked, but I want to know what good are accommodations that I can't count on?

Today's planned outing is grocery shopping. It is hard to believe that I've had the van for weeks and still haven't gone grocery shopping. I'm looking forward to being able to pick out the food that comes into my house. Relying on The Husband and children has worked (for a given definition of worked, we haven't starved) but I know that I would prefer to have at least some say in the food that we buy.

In addition to grocery shopping, weather and strength permitting, I am going to drive S3 to a game of Magic the Gathering that is held at a game store in Tel Aviv, and visit my sister. RS is living in a rehab/nursing home just north of Tel Aviv, and I haven't visited her yet. To be honest I'm more than a little bit nervous about it. RS is really not good for me, she is too insane. I care a lot about her, but it seems the closer I get to her the more I get burned. I seem to have no control, so it is better for me and all of my family here that I minimize contact - I really am not ready to go no contact, although every time I find myself on the phone with her I end up swearing it is enough! *sigh*

I found myself on the phone with her for an hour and a half this past weekend. I have no words. HaShem gave me a break and had my phone stop working the last twenty minutes. I really don't know what to do besides just keep on pretending when I have to that we are okay. She really is off her nut. I guess I need to work on the patience and tolerance, because she can't help it. I need patience and tolerance for myself as much as for her, because I can't help that I can't handle it, either. So it goes...

My hands aren't any better, despite several acupuncture treatments. I do have an appointment with a neuro, but it isn't until December and I've seen neuros enough to know that most likely she won't be able to do anything, and if she can, she won't.

It isn't really my 'hands,' it is my left hand and both feet. It makes walking an interesting experience. I can do it, but at this point I have no feeling at all in the last three toes of my left foot, in fact in that whole quarter of the foot, and the bottom of the foot and the rest of the toes is continuously pins-and-needles, with some just plain pain and feeling hot or cold thrown in for good measure. I don't intend to be complaining - my life is still better than it has been - but these things are happening, and from the look of things, I'm going to have to get used to it. So glad I can drive. I can do so little else, but I can drive. So that's good.

Rain today, which is nice (we really need the rain) and not-so-nice 'cause I'm not yet *that* comfortable driving the van. But it is certainly getting better. I have hope that someday I will drive this van as effortlessly and well as I was used to drive anything. Even as things are today, I am a better driver than most on the road. I'd call it my one real accomplishment except that I know that I do have others, they are just not so easy to point to. Being a good driver on the other hand is something that is clear and objective. It is something that I am very good at.

I seem to have run out of words. There are people screaming in Hebrew outside my window, and I dare to hope that they are workmen and there is *some* hope of *some* progress on my unfinished room. If they at least get the electricity wired I can get rid of the extension cords and be able to close the door - at least when there is finally a working latching mechanism. TH can do that, though.

D3 hung a scarf in the window-hole in the wall, which permits of some privacy but also cuts off the natural light. I *am* tired of living in the dark. We did look at some curtains for my room, but that is so far down the road it really doesn't bear thinking on.

I am feeling a bit sleepy. Maybe I can take a little nap before the big day starts? It sounds like a good idea.

I'm grateful for a new laptop computer, my loving critters, having enough.